‘My friend won’t stop asking me about my adoption – I told her to back off’

A woman who was raised by adopted parents opened up about her family background to a colleague. However, she didn’t expect to be bombarded with so many personal questions

Two women arguing (Stock Photo)
One question in particular tipped her over the edge (Stock Photo)

A woman raised by adopted parents has never been too concerned about her family background, having never felt any less loved than her parents’ biological children.

The 30-year-old can’t remember exactly when it was that she found out, but says her parents have been “incredibly open” about her adoption her whole life.

Her siblings don’t treat her any differently than they would have done if they’d been related by blood, and she overall feels very fortunate with the life she’s led.

However, she’s recently had to deal with an awkward situation at work with a colleague she refers to only as “Jenny”, who began taking a keen interest in her family history after finding out she was adopted.

Her curious questioning soon began to make the woman feel uncomfortable, and one particular intrusive question tipped her over the edge.

Although she doesn’t mind answering personal questions, Jenny took things too far (Stock Photo)


Getty Images)

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Taking to Reddit, the unnamed woman emphasised that, while she has no issue telling others about her backstory, her co-worker has now taken things too far.

Much to her discomfort, Jenny will now pester her for her “opinion on hypothetical scenarios and then using it as a platform to state her views”, which she feels just isn’t okay.

She explained: “For example, one time she asked me if I had the choice would I have my own children or adopt as well. I could barely answer before she was telling me all about how she could never adopt because she’d never be able to see the child as her own.”

According to the poster – who goes by the username u/throwaway-rants20112 – things became heated yesterday after Jenny asked her parents had “ever considered giving me back after they had biological children.”

She continued: “This just really p****d me off as it could be a triggering question for some people. So I told her to mind her own business and F off with her terrible opinions, which others tell me really upset her.”

Although the poster doesn’t think they’ve done anything wrong, other team members have suggested she could have handled things differently, explaining to her exactly why her questions were so inappropriate.

One fellow Reddit user wrote: “Not only is Jenny being inappropriate, but she’s also asking incredibly ignorant and upsetting questions. I get that snapping isn’t ideal, but honestly, you handled that better than I would have.

“I actually think this is close to workplace harassment/bullying is she’s frequently badgering you about being adopted. Might be worth a chat with HR.”

Another said: “You have been more than patient. I don’t blame you for telling her off. I would have done. You did nothing wrong.

“If she ever discusses it with you again, tell her the subject of adoption is closed and you don’t want to talk about it or hear her views on it any longer. If she doesn’t respect that please inform Human Resources or her/your supervisor.”

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