‘My boyfriend baked me a cake for my birthday – but it ruined the whole day’

A woman has hit out at her boyfriend for baking her a cake for her birthday – because it ruined her whole day by making her feel self-conscious about her weight

Unhappy woman eating cake
The woman was unhappy with the cake she was given (stock photo)

There are few things better than a freshly baked cake, and getting a loved one to make you a sweet treat from scratch for your birthday should be a cause for celebration.

But one woman on Reddit has been left fuming after her boyfriend took the time to make her a cake for her special day – because he specifically made it low-calorie, and made her self-conscious about her weight in the process.

The woman explained her boyfriend had been “not-so-subtly encouraging” her to lose weight for some time, and although she understands his cake baking was a “sweet gesture”, she can’t help but think that he just thinks of her as “fat”.

In her post, she said: “So, yesterday was my birthday and my boyfriend spent the morning making a cake for me. It was such a sweet gesture and it looked amazing.

She felt fat-shamed by her boyfriend over the cake (stock photo)


Getty Images/PhotoAlto)

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“I took a bite and it was … really bitter. But I pretended it was delicious anyway. Then my boyfriend said, ‘I only put half the sugar in to make it lower-calorie’. And I know it’s so dumb, but it made me sad.

“For context, my boyfriend has been not-so-subtly encouraging me to lose weight recently. He said we needed to start counting calories (he doesn’t need to lose weight but wanted to support me by doing it together which is nice).

“I’m overweight and have been since well before we first met. While I would like to lose some weight, and while he isn’t exactly forcing me to do anything, it was his choice for me to start counting calories and I didn’t feel like I got much of a say.

“Anyway, I know that logically I should say to myself ‘it’s so thoughtful that he made a cake for you and that he tried to make it healthier … it’s so sweet that he cares about your health’, but in my head, all I can think is ‘even on your birthday he thinks you’re fat, he can’t even let you have this one day of the year to enjoy nice things’.”

The woman admitted she “hid in the bathroom to cry” after being given the cake, and is still wrestling with whether or not she should tell her boyfriend how she feels.

She added: “I know that sounds so dramatic, and I really don’t want him to think I don’t appreciate that he made a cake for me because I do really appreciate the gesture. But I don’t know, just being reminded of the fact that he wants me to lose weight (which I’m pretty sensitive about anyway) on my birthday of all days just made me feel sad and bad about myself.

“I hid in the bathroom to cry so he doesn’t know it upset me, but I’m considering telling him how it made me feel.

“I don’t want to be an a**hole when he went to the trouble of making me a cake. He clearly worked hard on it and made it look really nice. Would I be the a**hole to confront him about this and tell him that the cake upset me?”

Commenters on the Reddit post were firmly on the woman’s side though, as many of them said her birthday should be the one day where calories don’t matter and she eats what she likes.

One person said: “It’s not dramatic at all — it is genuinely upsetting that he thought you didn’t deserve a proper birthday cake. What’s the point of cake?!”

While another added: “Firstly, you can’t change a recipe like that and expect it to taste good. Secondly, it sounds like he is slowly chipping away at your self-esteem and this situation will only get worse if you don’t stop it.”

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